Instagram & life update

As you might have seen … I’m not spending much time here lately. Last post was from a trip in October.

On the days I plan to work here on my blog, I’m actually in bed with so much fibromyalgia pain. It’s so horrible, but I’m trying to keep things up on my  Instragram page

@liesbethslife

Posting some updates there give me a reason to get out of bed and do stuf. Wear some nice clothes and shoes and not staying in sweatpants all day.

Like today … i worked the whole day and now I’m here in bed with my laptop writing a small update. I have so much back pain, like every muscle in my body hearts. It was an exhausting day, because of all the boxes that had to be labbeled for the sales (which has start today).

***

For the rest of this year I don’t have any plans left besides working a lot, going to an art class which i missed yesterday because of the pain. I still have to decorated my christmastree. I have a fake tree, it’s all standing but without decoration because it takes so much energy.

I don’t have plans for the holiday’s, as I’m not that person who really loves party with the family. I’m always turning into Grumpy on those days.

On those days you can call me ‘SCROOGE’ like I will say ‘BAH HUMBUG’ a few times.

***

Please don’t take it personally, I just don’t like all the forced happiness, the forced party at New Years Eve, the Christmas markets BUT I do love Santa, Reindeers, snow, Christmas movies.

Well, if you want to see more on how I survive the upcoming weeks … please check out my Instagram page for all the updates !

Many Regards,

Liesbeth

 

Fall at Bobbejaanland

It’s no surprise that I like amusentparks. I really have a big love for Walt Disney World in Florida, and Disneyland Paris.
Here in Belgium the park Bobbejaanland is still my favorite.

Visiting such parks in fall is so much prettier than in summer or high season.

October visit to Bobbejaanland

I planned 6 october to go back to Bobbejaanland as it was the last day I could use the voucher I still had for revisiting the park.
Last time we went was in high season so we (my family) kind of had to run away from the park because of me.

Too hot, too much people everywhere, so really that nice. That day we bought a ticket to come for another visit this season and the last weekend was today. Buying a returning ticket only costs 6 EUR, so a very nice gift from Bobbejaanland !

In September I ask my doctor for a little note to skip the waiting lines. Waiting in line with a lot of noice, a lot of people to close to me, dark waiting lines, etc … I get a headache and always have to leave the waiting line after less than 10 min.

With that note I got a red bracelet at the entrance infodesk, my brother got a black one to always be my assistent and my parents got a golden. They don’t had to go in, but they could if they wanted.

(this was taken when we left at 3PM)

I could visit each attraction by going through the exit line. So less stressfull. Every employee was so nice and sweet today. I really felt like home.
We had a great few hours and could do everything we wanted to do last time but I was too Grumpy that day.

No stress, no Grumpy feeling all day. Here are some pictures of today, more you can find on my Instagram @autistccountry (please check it out).

Still feeling sick and recovering form a huge cold, I had enough around 2PM. Around 3 hours spend in the park, taking fall pictures my head was exploding. So much headache again from just walking.

I really needed that day out in the fresh air, but with all the medication I was very tired.

Before going home we had a quick stop to Mc Donalds where I ate a nice Bacon & cheese salad and a normal hamburger. Not that healthy, but still good and now I have to pass Mc. Donalds visits and try to keep it all natural and healthy.

Conclusion?

Thank you Bobbejaanland for your great way of treating people with a ‘non visible handicap’ that great so every one can have a great day. Other park could learn form you!

It felt great to do something with the family without getting all the frustration from everything. I really enjoyed my day.

Next year, I don’t plan to go on vacation, so I’ll be back for some more visits !

Liesbeth

After a break … I’m back with the blog

“Life is a blog, everyday you write a new story”

With this quote in mind I started this blog, in the summer of last year. To write about my personal feelings on beeing on the spectrum and getting some bad comments about it.

Even now I get reactions ‘you’re not Autistic, you don’t look like the dude from Rainman’. Well, I’m on the spectrum but I’m totally different than ‘Rainman’. I can communicate, I just love fashion and shoes, I’m in with what’s going on with life around me, I can you shopping and pick something that’s fits me, I can clean, I can cook (with recipes), etc…

BUT

I have problems fitting in when I’m the new one, I can’t make new friends without sharing a big love for shoes or Disney(Land), I need a lot of lists, a good planner, can’t stand in a waiting line, can’t go to concerts, can’t work in an office with a lot of people … and the list is kind of never ending.

The past months were like crazy. Moving out, working all summer, getting a dog to stay for a week, now getting a cat, while I still have mine at my parents home.
So yeah, a lot of changes, and a lot of changes will still come in the next weeks. But HEY I can handle this !

With that said ….

Welcome to my blog, or welcome back to read some more stuff about fashion, lifestyle

Moving out …

So beeing here on my own with a cat called Tijger (he’s the gast and react like he’s the king of this house), is very nice.

The first 2 months were kind of hard, but now with this cat in the house I finally can call this home my home.

The only thing needed in my house was a cat, not the furniture !

Country music all day long, drawning, just having some more me space is really nice after 30 years 🙂 !

So for the future things look great here, never thought I would say this out loud or just put it here on my blog.

Work

I’m now without a voice at the moment. That really sucks ! I miss work, really want to work but I can’t till Monday. My voice is better, I can go outside but I just must avoid little kids because they could get it too. The ironic thing … while helping a sick kid in store last week I have to stay at home all week.

Yesterday I went to do some grocery shopping, because I needed some precious fresh air. Well yeah felt so tired after but glad I could you outside and smell the after summer fall weather again !

So next week I can’t wait to go back to work before I’m on vacation for a week. I kind of really really really love beeing a shoeseller and give people advice about their shoes.

Like this season when Dr. Martens are back in fashion and the Fila Disruptors. Oh the good old 90s are back !

Wearing the Buffalo boots or shoes again this season … well I still love them but I’m not convinced yet. I have ordered a pair at work but really don’t know untill I fit them.

Oh yess, doing your passion every day you can go to work. What is better than that ! Nothing can beat the amazing feeling I have when working in that incredible team!

The past days

So while beeing sick I managed to go grocery shopping. Okay I was grumpy because it was too crowded and off course had to go twice as I forgot some things.
Even with a list I forget things when there are a lot of people in the store.

I even went to Ikea just to pick up some items I really miss in my new house. Everytime I was cooking or baking I had to invent because I was missing the equipement in the kitchen like big spoons etc.

Guess most childern where out of school and had the same idea to go to Ikea. OMGosh. Luckely I had a list and only took everything on the list but I was so happy to be home.

Here are some pictures of the new Ikea store we have here at Zaventem, Belgium. The recently redecorated the store and it really looks beautiful but it’s such a different not knowing where everything was.

The large 3 sit couch is still on my wishlist 🙂 even as those lamps for 12,99 each. Guess I need around 20 lamps like that so budget wise it will still be on the list for a while.

Eating HEALTHY

I needed some fysio for my right hand because the pain kills me everyday. I have fibromyalgia, but this was apart from that.

So my fysio told me to stop eating carbs, stop eating sugar and quit drinking cola zero. Sorry for the Coca Cola Company but I almost drank 2L of that soda everyday 😮

I started with small steps on September 17, had a bad day September 20 when I had an event at work, but ever since that one bad day I made it to live without sugar, carbs, and most of all without Coke Zero. OMG is that last one such a positive influence on my budget at the grocery store.

Lost about 4kg, but I can’t really see the difference yet. I guess that will come in a few weeks when I’m totally off all those products !

Today was another bad, cheat, day. I went away for the day to shoot some pictures and ended up at Mc Donalds. I took just a normal hamburger with a bacon and cheese salad. Well, okay it’s not good. It’s wel better than eating a Big Mac, a hamburger and a large Coke Zero (no fries, as I hate fries ! yess living in the land of fries and I hate them).

For dinner I still have some leftover pumpkinlasagne, like the way Steffi Vertriest made it. Very good, and lots of pumpkin. Totally love to eat pumpkins every single day.

Let’s end this blog

I’m so proud of myself to renew this blog. I had a premium account here on wordpress but I made the discission to go back to the free one. The last months I hadn’t had much energy to put in this blog. Now I got the free version again I’m totally back.

The lay-out looks nothing like my style but this temporary.

So I really hope you all liked reading this blogpost, and I hope that you will come back to my page for more. If you want you can also like my blog and set it in your favorites.

For more frequent and daily updates on life and on fashion/shoes … please check out my Instagram page @autistccountry

Now blog, means a new ending to this posts …. I can now close every blog with a little note and using my real name insteat of Lucy. NOW i’m ready to share this with the whole world !

Liesbeth, it is !

So let’s end this in a good way…

Lot’s of love and have a great weekend xx Liesbeth

 

 

Moving out … How is life after a month?

Before I go further I can shortly say … HORRIBLE !!

“People on the autistic spectrum don’t like changes”

Wel that’s kind of true for me. When there’s something small changed in a supermarket I get frustrated because I have to search for the item I like.
Changing jobs is also very difficult, because you have to meet new people, talk to different people and basicly learn and start all over again (in a strange envoirement).

It gives me HIGH stresslevels.

Mainly the reason I just moved out my safe parents house, after 33 years living on the same place.

Well all that changed toooo last year … I have build my own small house.

Brand new house

As it was a new house, I could chose everything what I wanted. The floor, the colors on the walls (fuxia, my favorite), chose my furniture and design my own kitchen with my dream fridge.

So far … so good you might think?

Well, euhm NOOOOPE

The house was finished in april, and I move in on the 4th of July. Oh yess this Aspiegirl chose this beautiful date as moving out date to have something USA with me. While it can’t be a trip to the place I love the most.

Well, just over a month I live here (with some stay  overs at my parents).

The first month

I have a house build next to another house, so I share wall with them. They are not the friendly copple in the street, or what I’m I saying not in whole belgium !

They have their mind fixed on ‘we have a mercedes so we don’t talk to you, you are not good enough’.

Moving here with all the new sounds, etc was very hard. But those new neighbours have NO respect. A few weeks ago they went drinking in their garden till 3.15 AM, while it’s forbidden to make noice in Belgium after 10PM.

Since Wednesday I have a little scared dog in my house. Normally it was a keeper, but he’s just so sad here in the house. So it will not work for him. So this evening (while I’m still here typing my blog) they have another visit with lots of alcohol (I blame the little baby they have).

Those friends brought their dog too and placed him on a leash put together NEXT to my yard. I’m to frustrated now to argu because I can’t keep calm right now. This is just so horrible.

Well those neighbourghs are the reason why this little guy has to go again, and the reason I think about to move back in with my parents.

Failure

Well YAH this whole moving out thing, beeing responsible for myself is coming to another level where I feel such a failure at the moment. It’s just horrible and it’s not even my fault. I’ts making me so sad.

I just can’t live here anymore alone without having a moment of rest, without a moment of not seeing them, etc.

The feeling I have at the moment really sucks and makes me want to cry very hard. I always blame myself even with stuff that are not my fault.
Besides that couple everybody is very friendly, loving etc but those 2 are an exeption in the area.

Luckyly the old owner will pick this little dog back up, so he can be far away from those people. It hurts, did I mentioned it before … it hurts giving up something you love with all your heart.

How the future will be?

My vision for the future is very clear. I can’t live here my whole life. I have everything new in this house like floor heating, automatic lights, latest domotica, electricity everywhere, furniture that matches the house etc … the only thing that misses here is my HEART. (and my mind telling ESCAPE)

How can people be so cruel? From the moment I saw them I had a bad feeling, but now they are just bullying me (with other stuff too, and not only partying all night or making my dog angry).

House tour?

I still have some stuff packed in boxed. Maybe it’s a good idea to leave them in boxes. Maybe I should give you some kind of ‘house tour’ while I live here. Great memories for the future (when I will be ready to look at them).

Blog update?

A boy here’s another big CHANGE coming … I made the descission of downgrading my blog and to stop invest 99 dollar ever year on the premium abonnement. I barely had time with the move and mental heatlh to take some serious writing time.

The layout will look different but I’m staying on WordPress but on the Free page. What the changes will be I will see on September 2nd. I hope it’s mostly the layout and not the move of all the blogs I write before. Oh let’s not hope I loose everything here !

 

I hoped that I could you all leave a blog with ” I’m doing so great in my new place” but unfortually it’s not the case. It was so hard leaving everything I knew and start all over again  a few km from home in a new village.
REALITY really sucks when growning up !

Like I told … I’m not sure what my future will look like on the part of where I’ll be living. It’s something I have to face the next coupple of weeks. Maybe I’ll giving it another change when it’s winter time. Oh I’m now so ready for rainy and windy fall days, and bare cold winterdays with freezing temperatures (maybe it will be quiet than).

Love you all, and sweet dreams !

Lucy

All the stress … it’s freaking me out !

So here I’m again … a few weeks past since my last blogpost. The plan of blogging more, is not been a succes over the past weeks.

I’ve noticed I’ve been active more on Instagram by posting pictures of moments during the day but more than that … is a plan that’s kind of frozen right now.

I work only 3 days a week but I have no time to take a break from live, go on vacation, go away for a few days. Every day is filled with stress, and more stress.
So bad it has blocked me at home from doing nice stuff, stuff I really want to do.

But my autistic life has blocked me, and I don’t now how to take the rest I need right now.

Moving day

Well, the biggest factor of stress is the fact I’m moving next week … THE 4THE OF JULY ! As an America lover I needed this date as an officially moving date.

So I still need to pack a lot of stuff, a lot of clothes, my Disney collection and so much more … but I’m totally missing the drive right now. The drive of cleaning out my room and pack the stuff I need to take with me.

Right now here in Belgium the weather is really summer, like 30C degrees and we will having this temperature untill next weekend !

Sales

Since a few days we have the sale started in Belgium. So things I had on my wishing list are now for sale with a big discount. But as I just finished building my own house, I kind of have a budget for shopping right now. This fashionista is having a hard time not be able to buy what I love when I want it.

This gives me so much stress, and it’s so hard to clean my head with all the emotions because I missed that pair of shoes of handbag I wanted to buy 😥

All the mental help I get right now, is not enough so  I can’t wait for my next session in 2 weeks. Hope I’ll be able to survive till July 16.

Cat

My cat has the intention to take a little summer vacation right now. Which is so horrible, knowing he’s somewhere in the fields behind our house and that harvest season started.

Yesterday he came home for some food and water and now it’s already afternoon and still haven’t seen him today. It’s freaking me out but it’s a farm cat so I can’t do a thing about it. He’s used to this life so he can’t live inside the house all day.

Summer trips

Well, as living on a budget I can’t go on vacation to Florida or take another Disney Cruise for the next years. So sad, because I always lived for vacations, the Mickey Way. I’m living close to Disneyland Paris, well it’s “only” a 3,5 hour drive to Disneyland Paris.

Trips are now trips to the seaside here in Belgium, which you can’t call it paradise. The water is durty, too much people, too much buildings, etc.

Last Tuesday we went to Oostende (pictures on my Instagram page @autisticcountrygirl), and it all started with a train delay of 55 minutes (all minutes we extra spend INSIDE the train). We went to the beach, ate some Mc Donalds, and went to see the Mercator Ship before going back home.

I was so stressed out that I needed to see some shops and spend some money. BAD me I know, because I always having a hard time buying stuff I don’t need when stressed out. Luckely there was a Flying Tiger in Oostende, so it wasn’t that expensive.

Other trips

Well, besides moving and sleeping a lot in my new house, I don’t have plans this summer to go on other big trips. Besides a trip to visit the city of Hasselt next week.

Other trips when be spending a day in Mechelen, my absolute favorite city here in Belgium. It’s so pretty, pretty as the big cities as Bruges or Gant but way smaller and so much nicer.

I really like Antwerp a lot, but it’s a big bigger and since there’s a Primark it’s so buzzy when you have to take the train to the city. So I kind of avoid that right now.

The city of Brussels is horrible, I really hate that city. I worked there for 2 years, but I hated every single day. When you visit some shops, most of them are a total mess. All the toeristic things there in Brussels I don’t like, and everything is so far away. Taking the metro is horrible when you have autistic. In Paris I don’t have a problem with taking the metro because it’s logic, in Brussels it’s horrible to find the right metro, tram or bus.

Plans for my blog … in the next days

• making a blog with pictures from my visit to Planckendael on June 18, for the press event of Toerisme for Autisme in Belgium.
  Planckendael is just 15 minutes away from my house but I haven’t visit it for 21 years !!!
  I’ll explain in one of my next blogs.
• posting about my favorite styles for the next season. As a shoeseller I have the first views on the new trends that are coming to our store and to the webshop. I’ve been saving some money to spend on the new collections and last week I bought some of the things for next season.
• Getting my life back together after moving out
• life when I moved out
• Summer trips, or events nearby here in Belgium
• starting to draw again, not easy with fibromyalgie and painfull hands but I can do this

Instagram

If you want to read more on a daily basis from me, you can check out my Twitter (@autisticcountry) or my Instragram (@autisticcountrygirl).

But I’ll make it up here to by posting more blogposts and aswer earlier on you replies.

Thanks for all of you support over the last weeks by liking my posts ! 

Love you all xx

How is life rightnow ? Therapy, therapy, therapy

Well yeah, the never ending story of my life I guess. 

THERAPY

 The whole thing with having autism, having psoriasis, having fibromyalgia, having meltdowns, … got it’s breakpunt reached.

I never stopped therapy sessions with my psychologist, or psychiatrist, but now I’m going a few times more again.

Everybody is saying you have a great job, a great new house, great family … ‘ you can’t have a mental problem’. Well I’m sure have !

For me everything has to be perfect, so it’s so damn hard if you can’t create, can’t drawn, can’t shop like you always have in a perfect way. I can’t color my hair anymore, getting new pills who are making me fat (okay I don’t eat healthy all day but that’s never get’s me as FAT as since I started to take those new pills).

So yesterday, I had an appointement with my therapist and we had a great talk. So she gave me some homework to deal with the next few weeks. One of them is starting to eat healthy the whole day long.

Eating healthy and planning what I’m going to eat the next days is so hard. Because I don’t know what I want to eat tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

Doing some groceries every day, is a total NOOOOOO … so now I have a huge struggle in front of me about food, about making better choises.

I took my favorite cook book by the hand and this evening I started to bake the Bananabread, like NIOMI SMART. She posted a video ‘what I eat in a day’ a few days ago on her YouTube channel, so I was inspired to make that to.

So here it is! I never get this golden brown look like she has but it’s sooo delicious. 

I now have breakfast for tomorrow. Okay I took  slices as a snack already. I just couldn’t resist. I hope I can eat this tomorrow morning without my chocopaste (I’m still in my eating chocopaste period). So hope I will be okay eating this tomorrow and not having toast with chocopaste.

Tomorrow is a workday, so it’s going to be a salad for me insteat of a sandwich with some good old Dutch cheese.

I have to do this, I have to eat healthy to stay like this and not getting fatter because of the pills. If I don’t do this, and nothing will fit me, than I’ll be back on track with feeling despressed (story of my life, nothing new).

Please be kind and love your support, here on my blog, on my Instragram (@autisticcountrygirl) or Twitter (@autisticcountry).

**** Stay Smiling ****

Love lucy xx
(maybe it’s that time to start blogging under me real firstname soon)

How to deal with BAD NEWS … RIP KATE SPADE

About 2 hours ago I got the terrible news on my Facebook news page … KATE SPADE has died.

What ? How ? I’m still so shocked about the new that one of my idols has past away. This is just to hard at the moment to deal with it.

Kate Spade by Fox news

I just can’t realize that she’s really gone. Suicide or not … it’s just horrible.

It will take a while for me, #aspiegirl, to deal with this. Saying goodbye is so hard, even when it’s about people I don’t know personaly. She was such a great designer, such a great artist, and my idol.

Well, at this moment I’m glad I still have therapy myself to deal with everything in my life … because the OLD me would just go to  the website and grieve by buying so much of her bags. Now I learned that buying when grieving is not okay, but now it’s harder to sit here alone at home. (with the whole internet talking about Kate)

I just have to be strong and not shop till I drop, otherwise therapy isn’t worth the money. And it’s already costing me more than a pair of shoes everymonth. Like 180 EUR every month is a lot, so got to be strong ‘I NEED TO DO THIS IN A GOOD WAY’.

Going to try to do some handlettering about Kate Spade later. I will sure miss here, and hope she will live further by her brand, her bags, her creativity.

How do you handle the bad news you get? This is getting me so hard right now. And that while yesterday a car was found in the river here in my area, with a far family member that has past way in the water. Shocking day here in this small village, but the news about Kate is getting me so much harder. Guess you all think it’s wrong, but it’s just the way I feel right now. Maybe it’s the part of my autistic brain that is having difficulties because it’s happened so close to me, and trying to get over it as quickly like most people here around me. Strange, but don’t know the answer sadly 😦

Love Lucy xx

A day at our countryside – May 27, 2018

On Sunday May 27, I posted a lot of pictures through the day on my Instragram (@autisticcountrygirl).
I promised to write a whole blog about how I felt that day, with a little delay …
Here it is!
Hope you all enjoy some countrylife of Belgium.

Normally I have to work every Sunday so I can’t never plan a thing on doing with my family like going to some events, special occassions, shops, festivals … I made the descission of working the greatest job in the world so you know you have to miss most of those things.

Most of those things are crowded, tooo many people on the same place, to much noices, to loud music etc. So in one way it’s better to stay a day at work helping others having a great day off.

Strawberry festival

On May 27 I got a free Sunday, without asking for it. On that day we had an Strawberry event here in my local area. Moving out soon, so time to do something here.

It was more of an information event about local products than for the strawberry itself. At 3PM there was a ‘world record Milkshake drink’ but there weren’t that much people to hit the goal of 2000 people (they had like 1200 people drinking at the same time).

The milkshake itself was just horrible. They said it was made with local milk and with some fresh strawberries. YEAH right, totally not made with fresh strawberries but with a powder. As the shake was seedless and very light pink. And it was sooooooooo sugary.

Sooo Sorry ‘ONS’ but this was not REAL strawberry ! 

The event took place in my old school, so it was nice to see it again. They did a great job in making the place look nice for the public and for visitors. I remember, from beeing a kid, that it was always forbitten to step on the place where we went. Or just sit on the old iron ‘attraction’.

It’s look sooo old, but just looked like I remembered. So it was 20 years ago in such bad condition as now. Just for information, it wasn’t a new one when I went to school there 😉

Look for yourself, but for me it still have something of a horrormovie seeing it (remembering how it looked when it was dark in winter).

Here’s the park when we weren’t allowed to step one foot on it, but now it’s open for public every single day. So some changes were good, because it’s so beautiful and quiet walking there.

And here are some pictures of my old school, almost sad to say nothing changed in those 20 years (well 21)

And here are some pictures of the other part of the park where they put a smal farm with apple trees

The ‘strawberry’ event was more like a market with local products

Well, it’s not wrong with all those other local products … BUT … when this #aspiegirl hears ‘strawberry festival’ she wants an explotion with strawberries. And not just one thing to taste horrible milkshake and another one to buy plane fresh strawberries. But more like pastries with strawberries, desserts, art, … just things WITH STRAWBERRY included. 

After we saw the whole market, drunk are ‘milkshake’, visit the event inside about World War 1 … it was time for a little ride with some Belgium Work horses ‘Belgisch trekpaard’. 

Here are some pictures first … story will follow below

Our ‘taxi’ has arrived … 2 beautiful horses 

Here are some pictures I took during the trip through ouw countryside. The ride took me to places I never seen before, while I live here for 33 years. How is that possible? It was a shocking moment, but now I found some beautiful spots here to go on a bike trip or walk. 

Oh and off course, no long trip without RODNEY ATKINS

Most places have bords with ‘deer’ crossing the street. Here on the countryside we have them with COWS crossing the street. So strange to always remember the big city of Louvain is only 10 minutes away from that place 😮 (and Brussels only 25 mins) and still you are in the countryside with ‘cows crossing the streets’. 

So here’s the story about that trip. I was expecting a short trip around the school and in the close neighbourghood. Well I was sooooooo wrong !

We left with the horses around 15.45PM at the school and the trip will be around 1,5 hours to be back.

It was an extreemly hot day, and than 1,5 hours on the road with horses. Well, sometimes you have to do the things your family wants to do and follow them.

The trip took us to a close local brewery, we had the opportuinity to get off and visit it but I refused and stayed on. So everybody followed me. I was not in the mood to visit a brewery and taste that beer, as I don’t drink beer.

After the 5 minute stop, to change some passengers, we went back on the roads … with the horses. Poooooooor horses, so hot and doing such hard work.

Next stop was another visit to a local farm, a PORK farm. The place was a place we knew so we didn’t went outside in the heat and risking not having a place back to the school. The stop took more than 20 minutes as the horses needed water and some rest. Who could blame them, in that heat ???

And then it was time for the last trip on the road with the horses to the school again.

We came back at 6PM, so we spend more than 2 hours riding those horses with the ‘huifcar’ (sorry don’t know the word in English for the car/pickup/ we were in. So if you know the word please let me know.

Luckely I had my iPhone to take some pictures and listen to Rodney Atkins, well some country when beeing in the countryside, otherwise I had given up or even not went on that trip. And if I knew it would take more than 2 hours, I refused. But I have to admit, kind of glad I did.

Going to end this here. Just had a great day, but the organization of this event could be so much effecient or better if they had a shorter trip planned for the horses in this heat. Just a trip through the park, through the village, arond the close fields etc. But not a trip to 2 things that are so far away from everything.

I’m also glad nothing changed at the organization, organizing is not their greatest (worked for them 10 years ago). 

THE DAYS AFTER

I had this huge autistic meltdown, I could get out of my bed for 3 days. I had to convince myself to go to work but it was a terrible day. BUT I stayed strong and stayed the whole work day.
The rest of the week I was feeling a bit down, not having energy, not having the feeling of doing something good, etc.

That’s why I’m writing this blog about May 27 now, and not last week. So sorry 😉

Hope you enjoyed some countylife here. OH  BTW we do have tractors here, and not only horses to do all the work :p

Love, Lucy xx

What I eat in a day … when I have a bad day ?

A few months ago I posted my first ‘what I eat in a day’. I love routine when it comes to eating and when it comes to making food choices.

A few weeks ago I started to eat more healthier again, to have some more energy during the day. Loosing weight again will be so good, but that will be impossible while I take this much medication every day.

Last monday I had a very bad day, a lot of headache, I had an appointment with my psychologist in the morning, and was so tired.

So here’s what I ate during that day. It’s just to show you what I ate, and it’s not healthy that day, what I know but I want to show you that’s it’s not easy to eat healthy and stay focussed on healthy eating when feeling down and having some issues about my autism. So please be kind, and please to not follow this menu (it’s not something I eat everyday). 

Breakfast

I have some periodes in my life where I eat stuff for a few weeks and then I can eat that anymore. So now I’m in my ‘chocopaste’ periode, and everyday I eat some toast with chocopaste. The one form Lidl, as spending around 5 EUR for the same from Nutella is a no!

So that monday I eat 2 slices of toast, made from white bread as I’m getting sick at the moment eating whole wheat products.

 

This pot of 750 grams was only 1,99 EURO in Lidl Belgium, so a better deal than buying Nutella and paying around 5 EURO for the same amount.

Lunch

I had an appointment with the psychologist and when I came home I needed some comfyfood. Some quick lunch meal. Like the quote … when you feel like crap, you eat like crap.

So I made my some mac’n cheese, the Belgium way. It’s without cheddar, and with some ham.

After this I drunk a cup of coffee with some skimmed milk. I’m just a coffee person, and always need coffee after a warm meal.

Diner

So the first 2 meals of the day where horrible and not healthy (but yummy), I went for a salad for diner. Now we have a special USA Ranch sauce in our store. It just taste like the ones in the USA. I was so happy when I found it in Colruyt, and since then I’m eating a lot of salads. Maybe not that healthy in combination with the ranch sauce all the time, but at least I’m eating my veggies every day !

 

It’s a salad with advocado, mango, egg, cucumber and salad.

Snacks

For snack I had some strawberries, which are in season right now, so a reason to eat more of them. During the day I had some strawberries, and around 8PM I also had some but than with some icing sugar.

 

Drinks

During that day I have to admit to drink a lot of Coke Zero, but also a liter water a day. Besides that I have my daily Ginger Ale, and my daily cup of coffee.

Yess, I might drink a lot, but that’s just me. I drink around 3 liters a day in total, and in summer even more. Even on work days, it’s way more than those 3 liters.

 

So this was my ‘what I eat in a day, when I’m not feeling well physically. So please no judging me for eating this during those days. I know I can eat better, but my ‘autistic mind’ won’t always let me eat better and healthier.  I like some routines, and I eat stuff in periodes like the chocopaste.

It’s possible that I start a ‘jam’ periode or cheese periode next week and than I’m stuck with my stash of chocopaste 😉

But you will always find out here or on my Instagram 😉

Thanks for reading !

Love Lucy xx

Just an update on my life

So my last blogpost I wrote at the end of March. So scary to find out that it was that long ago.

Well, I also have to admit that there was some few things not going well the past weeks. I thought to give you all an update, and tell out about the next coming months.

Autism, my side effects on life

Being on the autistic spectrum disorder, is (for me) having some issues on just dealing with daily life. It’s kind of hard to find a good balance between worklife, personal life, and social life.

I work a parttime job, most weeks around 20 hours a week, to find some rest in my head. But I really can’t find that rest and peace in my head as I was expecting it would be.

Now I’m kind at the hedge of having a depression again, but now I have some great help from the start to deal with it.

All the stress of daily life, going to work, work with a lot of people, building a house, going to the city (to see the psychologist) and not allowed to go to the shops, having a lot of musscle pain, having psoriasis on my head (and eyebrows) … like how much can one person handle?

For me it’s just so hard to find a right middle on all those things that makes me happy.

Psoriasis

So since September I’ve been diagnosed with psoriasis, and it’s based on my head and now also on my eyebrows. It’s so horrible.

Like it’s so painfull to dye my hair, and it’s even forbidden. NO DYE my hair, so all the grey hairs will be everywhere 😮
Yess, that’s reality when you are over 30 years, so sad.

All those emotions on the treatment, the special products I have to uses daily, the stress of making time for it everyday. And for what ? I will always be under a lot of stress because of my autism, and stress is the main factor on making psoriasis worse.

Like it’s an endless circle.

Muscle pain

Since a few months/years (I’m bad with times) I have some serious pains everywhere in my body.

In the hospital (where I had an appointment for my psoriasis) they told me to go to another doctor who’s specialised in reumathism, and artritis.

With that doctor I had an appointement in march, just a 10 minutes talk. I had to go back to the hospital to do some tests which I did on the 20th.

A few days later I got the results and she told me nothing was wrong and that was it. No further tests, no appointment to talk about the results … just nothing. I was so angry, and had so many emotions going on I couldn’t place.

My normal doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, all think I have fibromyalgia but in the hospital they would do further tests … I really hate it when thinking about it.

So now I got some telephone numbers of other reumatologists in my area to go for a second opinion and some more tests.

AND HERE’S THE PROBLEM NOW

I got some telephone numbers, I mean telephone numbers ??? Like I hate to call people, I hate to call doctors and tell everything over the phone. Searched all the internet for some more details, but it looks like that doctor only have a phone to contact her. So now I’m under some more stress to call them next Tuesday. Today is impossible, because I’m just not ready.

How I see the future?

These days I’m having high stresslevels because soon I’ll be moving out, and will be living on my own. A whole house just for me, a new neighbourghood, new people, new way to go to work, new busses, new sounds, … Everything will be NEW !!

I really hate changes, I really hate the word NEW (not when it come’s to new shoes, but that’s something different, right). Shoes are my thing, the thing I like, the thing I can talk about for hours, or just look for new styles for hours. Oh boy, here I go again talking about shoes, so sorry! 

So the next few weeks will be filled with all new things, a lot of stress, a lot of pain (headaches, muscles pains), a lot of work in the shoe store, moving my things, figuring out what it will be living on my own and with a budget.

That last part will be such a hard thing to deal with, paying for everything while I work parttime and have to pay my house, and all the monthy costs with only one small paycheck.

Most of the days I think I can beat my emotions and think the future will be so good, but other days I’m getting such depressed feelings about it and feelings of giving up. I’m getting back to the ‘one moment I feeling happy and one moment I feel down’ period.

BUT like I said now I have a whole team who’s there for me, and hope you will be here to reading my story and helping me out.

Thanks for reading !

Greets Lucy xx